There’s a quiet struggle
involved in breaking free of yourself
and floating towards the happiness
slightly outside the self-pitying hymns
playing, repeat, playing in your head.
Drift outward, but not too far.
I’ve lost you many times
when you trapped yourself
in other people’s image of you.
Maybe, just maybe, writing will help
the anger from suffocating you, like usual.
Write sweet revenge fairytales
about men who have taken advantage,
discovered your weakness for touch:
He roamed your insides, your chest arching
towards him, a tambourine of pleasure.
It was love, until pant, kiss, pant,
butterflies smothered,
your heart was in his fist.
He chewed, incessantly chewed it,
ignoring the sea of redness surrounding him.
“Carry your cruelty,” you whispered to him,
tenderly stroking his hair.
And suddenly, the lovely monster
crawled on the dirty concrete, tears
falling down his cheeks.
“Repeat I’m a monster three times fast
while clicking your heels together
to save yourself,” you said
before vanishing.
Once the scene’s written, leave it.
You have a tendency of analyzing so much
that you confuse truth with fiction.
When you slowly start to drift back,
learn how to make something
other than sadness:
maybe lasagna or peanut butter chocolate cake.
Make it for yourself and not a group;
let everyone else have the leftovers.
–lissa
There are many wonderful lines in here
I particularly like:
It was love, until pant, kiss, pant,
butterflies smothered,
your heart was in his fist.
…..and the ending, that’s wild.
tambourine, this is a lovely controlled thought poem, careful and passionate without getting carried with its poeticalness, balanced in other words, and it has an orginal voice and a rolling momentum in the rhythm, cool and careful,
“carry your cruelty” – you are an amazingly talented writer, your words are always so beautiful.
This starts with a bang and never lets go. Amazing poetry, Lissa. Congratulations!
great poem–fresh voice. Check my comments–don’t throw this out lightly. Thanks for the visit.
You created a really tight downward spiral in your poem in rhtyhm and in tone, it gets tighter and then relaxes out like a single slow heartbeat, and its quite intense in the middle there, the letting go at the end is a kind of compassionate gesture, almost ironic twist, but the poem has a structure which reflects the mind event it describes which is how it should be, yayay, see i knew you could write, you have a natural instrument, beautiful tone and control and it is entirely up to you how you use it, the more you try the better you will get at the simple natural things as well, so i reckon you have all the potential for a great career as a writer and i’ll be interested to see you go whoosh past me at a million miles, cool,
I like the idea of sweet revenge fairy tales and the ending too, excellent
you said,”There’s a quiet struggle
involved in breaking free of yourself”
I say, the struggle begins when your cagedself is not yet ready to be free.
I am all too familiar with the contended struggle but each, I slowy come out of the dark, exposing myself to more light.
I have no idea how this one escaped me…perhaps it needed to be saved for last in order to have my full undivided ;)
lissa,
what can i say that i already haven’t
your psyche stretches unlike most,
finally figured out how to add to my blogroll
and you’re now on it, yah!!!!
until we share space again,
live well~filter freely