photo uploaded by Nika Fadul.
i want a poem to exist within the spaces between my heart beat. i want the inches of longing and hollowness within me to merge into a living breathing artform and my insides to vibrate sonnet-like love. i want to move my soul so deeply that it becomes a soaring hot pink balloon that i could tie around my waist and fly away towards heaven. i want to tag the moon and have it play chase with me all night. imagine what the moon must feel like: majestic velvet expansiveness. maybe i could bring back to life that deep belly laugh that went extinct when i realized the word no is the most misunderstood word in the entire book of languages. i wish that i could take a pair of scissors and cut through the vivid horror tales that replay on and on in my head. if i could have stillness, more than anything, i would want it to be autumn and to sit on a freshly washed sheet and stare up at the rainbow of leaves and watch the tree branches dance with the wind. have you ever noticed the way autumn sounds so alive?
there’s a point when you lose too much and fate becomes a dark looming thing that drags you along on a leash and kicks you in the bottom if you ask to just rest and sit for a few more moments. i want to be majestic velvet expansiveness. i wish i could lean into the moon, the leaves, the beauty surrounding me and find out their secret. how are you happy? why are you glowing when there is so much loss all around you and embedding you? maybe they would whisper back, it’s simple, my lovely. let go and love.
–lissa
p.s. i started a new blog called lissabliss where i write about yoga and life. flyturtlefly will always be my first love and creative safehaven, but it has such a distinct tone and energy to it, that i really couldn’t see a way to integrate vivid details about yoga and meditation with dark poetry fairy lands other than by just having two blogs.
Love it!
it is good to reconsider the tight woven stitches that we weave within ourselves leaving no room for light or air…. a beautiful post lissa ..”there’s a point when you lose too much..”.. wow speaks volumes….
Amazing!
That hit a few musical notes inside me, indeed.
Oh let me check your new place, sounds interesting, and this old place is looking beautiful, love this blue/green.
thanks! :) let me know what you think of the other site. i remember you saying you wanted to make some changes to your blog. i’m interested in seeing what you end up doing.
Hi Lissa, this poem is soothing for me in a weird sort of way. I agree it would be
so liberating to cut to shreds the looming clouds of unpleasant memories.
I love this Lissa, love they way it flows and how it seems to call joy.
this post touched me deeply … yes, to lose so much, too much, time and time again ..can we lose every thing and still be whatever the heck we are? some say yes, i don’t know, just that some times are like a huge cosmic bite and before you know it, soulblood and holes everywhere .. but even they’re a somethings and spirit’s just not any of “this” or “that” … best to play tag with the moon, eh?
i love your writing! thank you!